Florida Festivus Pole Goes Gay to Bug Christians

For several years we have documented the efforts of self-proclaimed “militant atheist” Chaz Stevens and his efforts to place a Festivus pole in the Florida State rotunda to counter all the Christmas trees and Nativities placed there every holiday season. In 2013 Stevens expressed open amusement when his Festivus pole made from Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans made national news. This year Stevens plans to take it to the next level in poking Christians in the eye: the Festivus Pole will be going gay.

Stevens has decided that this year’s Festivus pole will be a celebration of the recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling making same-sex marriage legal across the country.

“It’s the rainbow gay edition,” Stevens says. “A project we’ve lovingly entitled ‘We’ve Gone Completely Gay!’”

The so-called “rainbow gay edition” Festivus pole will have a few additions to it, including making the pole taller. The new pole will be covered in what Stevens calls a “durable, all-weather condom” made from a nylon LGBT flag. Stevens also has plans to install a small solar-powered disco light at the top of the pole. The idea is to use the solar power generated from the ball to have the song “It’s Raining Men” blast from a speaker at 5 p.m. every day the pole is up.

“My lawyer seems confident we can find a low-current motor, MP3, and timer to make this a reality,” he tells New Times.

Stevens says he’s already filled out the necessary paperwork and is awaiting word from Tallahassee for approval. And while he’s looking for a way to celebrate the SCOTUS gay marriage ruling, the central goal seems to remain a desire to stick it to those who oppose anything but Christian-themed displays in the rotunda during the holidays. He is joined in his efforts with displays from a Satanic church and another atheist-themed display from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Stevens says he’s interested in hearing what Pam Olsen, president of Florida Prayer Network, has to say about his new pole. It’s Olsen and her group that set up the Nativity scene at the rotunda along with a ceremony that includes a singing of Christmas carols every December.

“We’ll need to reach out to her and see what she, and Jesus H. Christ, think about having another erection in the bowels of the state Capitol rotunda,” Stevens says.

This will be but one of many anti-Christian efforts at Christmas in the upcoming season. The gay marriage debate, newly empowered by the SCOTUS decision legalizing gay marriage nationwide, is morphing into a fight over religious liberty. While Christmas has been largely absent of rainbow colors that trend is about to change as efforts to attack Christianity intensify.

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